I've often talked about surrender and when I do I am often asked, why would you want to give up your power? So let's be clear......surrender isn't about giving up your power...it is about FINDING your power....the inner power that we all possess. When you surrender something you are no longer connected to the outcome.....THUS, whatever you are surrendering no longer has power over YOU. In essence you RECLAIM your power. Remember, I've stated before that what we give attention to, is what we manifest. If we are experiencing a negative experience, something we have no control over, yet we continue to try to "fix" it or give attention to it....we are thus manifesting MORE of it. This goes back to what I spoke of in my blog entry "Compassion"....if we let go of the OUTCOME....we surrender ourselves to accept ALL possibilities. The universe is INFINITE!!! If we hang on to one possibility of how things will be, then we are likely to miss out on the millions of other outcomes.
I see this often in relationships. ( and have personally experienced it in several!) One person has one idea of an outcome...the other person has a totally different idea. When we suddenly come to realize our partner's agenda doesn't match our own we panic! We try to "fix" it or manipulate it in some way. Instead, we should simply surrender. WHAT??? I can imagine that many of you had an emotional reaction to my last sentence. Does this mean we give our power to THEM?? No, it means we keep our power. We are not effected by the outcome. Thus, we surrender to all possibilities. We open ourselves up for something bigger and better. A perfect example: you are all set to go out on a fantastic date....about an hour before the date, your partner calls and says he/she had a horrible day at work and would rather just stay home. This changes your plans entirely. Do you fight it or go with the flow? You could try to manipulate your way into getting the outcome you are attached to...and likely have a horrible time because you are now both resentful...or you could sigh and surrender to all the other possibilities. If you live with your partner, maybe the two of you will have a wonderful evening together...after all, your partner had a bad day...there's some compassionate bonding that could happen here. Conversely, maybe you decide you still want to go out...so you call up your friend......you haven't been out in a long time with your friend and you get the rare chance to catch up on old times. The possibilities are endless! But first, you must surrender.
I use the example of relationships because that is something I see often. We forget to surrender to possibility here. Perhaps, we think surrender means giving our power away.....but just the opposite is true. We tap into an inner strength, an inner wisdom when we surrender...when we let go of the outcome. But truly, the choice to surrender happens every day......several times a day. I have often found myself running late and feeling frustrated and a bit angry because things beyond my control occurred just as I was trying to leave the house. I'm sometimes humbled to see on the road in front of me an accident that recently occurred. I then think...."if I had left on time...?"....who knows. But I surrender anyway. Yes, I'm running late....I can't change it..all I can do is take responsibility and call if someone is waiting on me. But I can surrender and not feel guilt and frustration.
So does surrender then mean you are irresponsible? That you live your life willy-nilly waiting to see what happens? No. It doesn't mean that you sit around and do nothing and wait for something wonderful to occur. It means letting go of things that you CAN NOT control. There are lots of things that we can control in our lives....we can control our emotions and reactions, but not those of others. We can control our lifestyle, but not those of others. We can even control how fast we drive when we are running late....but we can't control the car in front of us on a winding two way street. We can't pass it. Blowing the horn at the driver isn't likely to help. So our choice is to surrender. Sit back, relax and you might catch some scenery that you missed before.
When I think of surrender I think of the last line in the Serenity Prayer..."and the wisdom to know the difference". We are not in control of a lot in our lives...at least not on the physical plane. But when we surrender and allow our spirit/G-d/our higher wisdom to take control then the outcome is always just as it should be. It may not be as we WANT it to be.....but it will always be as it should be.
So how do we surrender? It isn't always easy to let go....you just have to do it. Surrender is a choice......a very definite and conscious decision. Once you make the decision to surrender....you must truly let go and give no more energy to a specific outcome. That which we give our energy to is what we manifest. You might then say, well, if I want this or that outcome then I should take control and give energy to only that specific outcome. That is fine if you are getting your degree or working on a specific project...this is something YOU can control. But in situations beyond our control, surrendering to all the possibilities is always the best option. Relationships are a good example, because be it a romantic relationship, a friendship or a familial relationship....YOU are only in control of HALF the situation. You aren't fully in control of the outcome. Surrender doesn't mean giving up, it means opening up. Opening up to whatever outcomes are possible.
Have you ever been searching for something and unable to find it? You begin to work yourself into a frazzle trying to find it......yet when you finally give up, there it is? This is surrender. You are no longer focused on looking in all the "logical" places. You aren't searching with blinders trying to rationalize where the item could be. You've given up!....AND opened up to seeing the whole picture and all the possibilities. So naturally, there it is.
SURRENDER ISN'T GIVING UP......IT IS OPENING UP.
15 years ago
